At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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