used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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