sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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