that's an acceptable place to lick
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
