I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
