thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I didn't notice because vodka
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
