the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
