If i come over, it means nothing
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
