Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
