I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
