I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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