he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
