My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
