Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
