Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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