And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
