very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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