this boner is exhausting
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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