I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
