wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
