I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
