Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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