4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
