it hurts more in the daytime
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
