I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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