There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
