Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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