Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
