I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
