How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
