Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
