we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
