after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
