He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
