You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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