"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
