don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
