How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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