Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
