True but thats because hes a fetus.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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