We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
