everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
organizing the empties. That sober.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
