she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
