Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
