your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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