I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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