Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
