i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
