I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
