you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
