Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
