Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
